Guest post by Melinda Emerson @smallbizlady

Meet Melinda at her extensive half-day training in Washington, DC on May 25. Attend her Succeed as Your Own Boss Tour and get the tips that will help you grow your business. Visit http://bit.ly/byob2011dc for more info.

In small business, your network is key is to your business success, but it is astonishing to me that people with no friends will start a business. I believe it’s best to plan 12 months before you quit your job to start a business.  In that year, one the most important things you need to do is build and reinforce your personal network. Why? Because, people do business with people they like and people they know. Hopefully, you can be both to your clients. There are many businesses like yours, but one thing that separates your company from others is who you know and how you know them.

An entrepreneur’s most valuable skill is the ability to make friends and influence people.

Look for Ways to Meet People Encounters with people you don’t know are important. Look at it this way: You don’t meet strangers; you meet friends you just don’t know yet. There are a few rules to this kind of networking. Always invite the person to talk about themselves first. After all, the more you know about them, the better you can tailor your thirty-second pitch. Be ready with your short commercial about your business. Consider this your opportunity to make a first impression.

The 30 Second Commercial Before you hit the street extolling the virtues of your great product or service, it is crucial that you have a clear thirty-second commercial (also known as “the elevator pitch”) for your business. When someone asks you what you do, you need to have a crisp and memorable response that makes it clear what business you are in and how you solve problems for your customers. Your commercial is intended for very brief, chance encounters. It is important because it helps you make a lasting first impression. You use it to showcase your professionalism, the benefits you provide, and your expertise. The goal is to capture your target’s attention and interest so that you can engage them in a more substantial and meaningful way. A strong thirty-second commercial will help you create better networking connections, and it can draw people to you. People will seek you out if you present yourself and your business professionally.

It is very important that you sound excited about what you do when you talk to people. You are always selling the business and yourself. Be careful never to tie up someone more than few minutes unless the contact seems to want to prolong the conversation.

Trains, planes, and buses are a great way to meet other business people. I only take the Amtrak Acela express train, which is how most business travelers in the Northeast ride. When I ride the train, I look for an open seat next to someone who looks like a businessperson. You just never know who could be a high-ranking executive, so I keep my mind and my options open. I try to make a friend or at least to learn something from someone during the ride. Most of the time, I accomplish both goals.

A Friendly Conversation Can Always Turn into a Potential Business Lead Learn how to strike up a conversation with anyone. Giving a compliment is a great way to start.  Look for something you have in common such as kids, sports, tired of being in line—anything you can thing of to make a personal connection with the person you are talking with. Whenever you attend networking functions or, for that matter, go anywhere, you should always have business cards. When it comes to networking, you never know where you might meet someone who can help you grow your business, so it pays to always be prepared with plenty of business cards. It’s like that old saying goes “never leave home without them.”

Build Personal Network When I first moved to Philadelphia, I put my nose to the grindstone for a few years to build up my career, then I turned my attention to meeting people. I did three things. First, I joined the Urban League to do volunteer work, socialize, and participate in professional development activities. Then I found a church home. The third thing I did was to reach out to the alumni association of my alma mater, Virginia Tech. These three associations paid off in spades years later when I started my business. My first customers came from those associations.

The Cocktail Hour Before Any Event is the Event! Be early for the reception so you can circulate. Once you sit down to dinner, the only people you can network with are the other nine people at your table. An accountant once told me that the rule of thumb is that you should go through 500 business cards roughly every two months when you first start a business. I even carry business cards to the hair salon because you never know who’s in the shampoo bowl next to you.

The Follow-Up The way to build relationships is through continued contact. It is essential to follow up within two weeks after meeting with a potential business contact. You can do this in multiple ways. The quickest and easiest way is e-mail. I prefer to send a handwritten note on my company stationery, since I feel this adds a personal touch. You can have note card stationary printed with your company logo on it.

Leave me a comment if you have any other good networking tips or stories to share.

Melinda Emerson “SmallBizLady”is a Veteran Entrepreneur, Small Business Expert and Social Media Coach who hosts #smallbizchat on Twitter. #Smallbizchat is the trusted resource on Twitter to discuss everything entrepreneurs need to know about launching and running a profitable small business. Melinda is best-selling author of, Become Your Own Boss in 12 months! A Month-by-Month Guide to a Business that Works!

Meet best-selling author Melinda Emerson and learn from her in an extensive half-day training in Washington, DC on May 25. Attend her Succeed as Your Own Boss Tour and get the tips that will help you succeed. Visit http://bit.ly/byob2011dc for more info.

When was the last time you were at a cocktail party and someone cornered you with a story about how things just weren’t going well with their new business, their job search, or their family? When it happened, how did it make you feel? If you’re like most people you probably felt helpless and uncomfortable. You listened politely until you could find a way to make your exit. And when you came across their business card the next day, those uncomfortable feelings  rushed back, so you pushed the card out of sight.

Sound familiar?

Unless you’re conducting a Nigerian bank scam, positivity as a general rule, works better than whining. Sob stories don’t sell.

Sob stories at networking events make people inch away. Sob stories on Twitter cause people to unfollow you. Sob stories during a  job interview leave a bad impression on the hiring manager, who won’t call you back for that follow-up interview.

Think about it. If whenever people see you or read your tweets and you’re frustrated and discouraged because things aren’t going well, your pessimism is what they’ll remember. And who’s going to want to work down the hall from Mr. Pessimistic?

Don’t be a Debbie Downer. Do your very best to always convey positivity. Because people want to work with people they like. And most people don’t like a Debbie Downer.

I know it can be hard to sound optimistic when times are tough. But people are always watching you, gauging you, judging you.  And the way you respond to adversity is how you will be remembered. This is how people will perceive your brand. So if you’re having an especially tough day, refrain from posting online. Wait until you feel better!

How to Project Positivity and Get Your Point Across

1. Focus on all the good you have done. Create an online portfolio or  list of career wins. (Reflecting on all of these wins will uplift you on a particularly bad day). Tweet a positive link to your profile, or update your LinkedIn status with what you have done and what you can do, i.e. “I love helping organizations tell their stories to the media. Take a look at some of my success stories. http://bit.ly/m4Rs84“
2. Lead with how you can help. Not what you want. Instead of saying “I’m looking for clients!” or “I’m looking for a new job. Help!” say “I’m a proven marketing professional who has helped large and small businesses double sales  through my outreach,” or “I’m a senior level fundraiser who helps struggling nonprofits land major funding through my powerful grant writing. How can I help you?”
3. Don’t miss opportunities Be sure to let people know where they can find more information about you. When you’re sending out emails, include your new portfolio and LinkedIn profile in your e-mail signature. Mention your website in your voicemail.
4. Be genuinely interested in people. Find out what other people are up to, what they need and how you can help them out. When you help others, they will naturally want to help you. The road to a great career is paved with mutually beneficial relationships. Don’t be the person who always has their  hand out asking for something. Ask how you can help. Can you volunteer your time? Before you ask someone to help you, be prepared to give something back.

How do you respond to negativity? Have you had a person turn you off with their pessimism online or in person?

Amanda Miller Littlejohn is a PR strategist at Mopwater Social PR, and the author of the Mopwater Manual, a career guide for PR professionals. Follow her on Twitter @amandamogul.